Stoopid! From Planet Stoopid!


Here’s the thing, I have done many, many stupid things in my life. But this morning might have been the dumbest. If fact if Stupid was a planet it would take ten thousand years for the light from planet Dumb to reach Earth.
Here’s my story:
I woke and proceeded to make my cup of coffee, which I like to do in an old fashioned kind of way—no K-Cups or Mr. Coffee machines. No, I prefer to boil water in a tea kettle and then pour it through the grinds in filter sitting directly over my favorite morning coffee mug—which for some reason I do not use any other time but morning. But that’s neither here nor there.
Usually this little routine goes off without a hitch but I’ve been under a lot of stress lately—deadlines, family, I’ve had a cold, work at school issues, learning more and more about social networking that just gives me the willies and makes me feel so public like a frog, needing to update my website, financial woes, missing family, etc. etc. Anyhoo, the kettle squealed and I made my coffee and sat down in the living room—which btw is about five feet from the kitchen!!! I enjoyed my morning java, my wake-up call, my sun is on the rise cuppa Joe, when I began to notice an odd smell. I shrugged it off thinking that perhaps it was the cat—he did just use the littler box and can be very fragrant from time to time. But as I sat there the odor was growing in intensity and still I did not get off the couch, put my coffee down and investigate.
No, I sat until I had finished the coffee. It was say, twenty minutes and the odor which smelled like a car fire continued to intensify. But no, I stayed my ground thinking it was something outside, perhaps.
Finally, I went to the kitchen and there it was, my beautiful, yellow tea kettle burning away on the most incredible orange burner I had ever seen. The smell, the smoke nearly knocked me down. I’m sure it was toxic!!!! I turned the exhaust fan on, turned off the burner and lacking any viable brain cells at this point grabbed the tea kettle. That’s right. I burned my palm! Which now I had to put under cold water as the pot continued to sizzle on the stove coil. Once the pain subsided I grabbed a potholder and . . . well the tea kettle was sealed to the burner. I had to pry it off with a knife but it left lovely yellow paint on the coils which I think will be there until Jesus comes again.
I rinsed out my kettle. It seemed okay. Some of the paint was of course missing on the bottom but hey, I wanted another cup of coffee.
Soooooo, I filled the kettle and set it on the burner next to the offending burner and guess what, that’s right, I began to smell that same tire dump fire smell again. This time, I didn’t wait, of course I as holding my hand under the cold water again—but I turned the burner off and, yep, that’s right, the kettle was now sealed to a second burner.
Criminy, I pried it off and I now have two stovetop burners with yellow paint smears that I’m sure will burn for eternity.
That’s my story.

3 comments:

Pam Halter said...

You're in good company, Joyce. I've ruined many-a good thing by forgetting to turn off the burner. Once, I put on a pot with sugar to make iced tea, walked out of the house and went in a field trip with the homeschool group! Thank God my son was able to get in the house and turn the burner off. But not before the burner burned right through the pot and the burned sugar rose like a black volcano. The house smelled like smoke for a week. I could have burned it down. Sheesh. Talk about Planet Stoopid!

Marti Pieper said...

I am a self-admitted bibliophile (and proud of it). But a few years ago, I was reading while stirring a pot on my glass-topped stove. I didn't realize I'd set the book down on a burner that was still warm--okay, maybe a little more than warm.

For some reason, the library asked me to buy the book. I explained that the coil formations on the back cover gave it character. Unlike the cover, they were unimpressed.

Isabella said...

I just call them senior moments,
lol just a real quick note to say I have just this min finneished your book Prayers of Agnes Sparrow and loved it now I'm of to our annual quilting day