Stoopid! From Planet Stoopid!
Here’s the thing, I have done many, many stupid things in my life. But this morning might have been the dumbest. If fact if Stupid was a planet it would take ten thousand years for the light from planet Dumb to reach Earth.
Here’s my story:
I woke and proceeded to make my cup of coffee, which I like to do in an old fashioned kind of way—no K-Cups or Mr. Coffee machines. No, I prefer to boil water in a tea kettle and then pour it through the grinds in filter sitting directly over my favorite morning coffee mug—which for some reason I do not use any other time but morning. But that’s neither here nor there.
Usually this little routine goes off without a hitch but I’ve been under a lot of stress lately—deadlines, family, I’ve had a cold, work at school issues, learning more and more about social networking that just gives me the willies and makes me feel so public like a frog, needing to update my website, financial woes, missing family, etc. etc. Anyhoo, the kettle squealed and I made my coffee and sat down in the living room—which btw is about five feet from the kitchen!!! I enjoyed my morning java, my wake-up call, my sun is on the rise cuppa Joe, when I began to notice an odd smell. I shrugged it off thinking that perhaps it was the cat—he did just use the littler box and can be very fragrant from time to time. But as I sat there the odor was growing in intensity and still I did not get off the couch, put my coffee down and investigate.
No, I sat until I had finished the coffee. It was say, twenty minutes and the odor which smelled like a car fire continued to intensify. But no, I stayed my ground thinking it was something outside, perhaps.
Finally, I went to the kitchen and there it was, my beautiful, yellow tea kettle burning away on the most incredible orange burner I had ever seen. The smell, the smoke nearly knocked me down. I’m sure it was toxic!!!! I turned the exhaust fan on, turned off the burner and lacking any viable brain cells at this point grabbed the tea kettle. That’s right. I burned my palm! Which now I had to put under cold water as the pot continued to sizzle on the stove coil. Once the pain subsided I grabbed a potholder and . . . well the tea kettle was sealed to the burner. I had to pry it off with a knife but it left lovely yellow paint on the coils which I think will be there until Jesus comes again.
I rinsed out my kettle. It seemed okay. Some of the paint was of course missing on the bottom but hey, I wanted another cup of coffee.
Soooooo, I filled the kettle and set it on the burner next to the offending burner and guess what, that’s right, I began to smell that same tire dump fire smell again. This time, I didn’t wait, of course I as holding my hand under the cold water again—but I turned the burner off and, yep, that’s right, the kettle was now sealed to a second burner.
Criminy, I pried it off and I now have two stovetop burners with yellow paint smears that I’m sure will burn for eternity.
That’s my story.