Attention Drivers!!!!

Here's the thing, I was going to continue the discussion on voice today but it's become a rather busy day and I need to go back to school in a bit so instead, I thought it would be fun to write about something that, well, is just plain funny in my opinion. Attention PEOPLE IN CARS! We can see you. What is it about being in car and driving down the street that makes people think they are totally alone and no one else can see them do the odd little things they do while driving? Uhm heres a news flash. Cars have windows! I bring this to your attention because of something I saw the other day. I was noodling along on a two-lane road and casually looked to my left and there was a woman, perfectly respectable in all ways. But then I noticed she had a can of Whipped Cream. Yes I said Whipped Cream, Reddi Whip in her hand. Every few hundred yards she took a slug of the creamy goodness. My goodness she must have been having a terrible day to find the need to consume an entire can of whipped cream while heading wherever it was she was going.
But this got me thinking about the other odd practices I've seen drivers doing. Driving along on Route 81 at about sixty miles a hour I saw a male driver with a newspaper spread out across his steering wheel reading as he drove on this very fast and busy Interstate. What are you thinking?
I have seen men shaving, women putting on make-up, the ever-popular nose-picking, men and women smacking children in the back seat while negotiating the speed bumps in a large parking lot. I have seen couples kissing (among other things), drivers with dogs in their laps. I'm not talking about Mike, Barbara, I'm talking about drivers with huge Mastiffs sprawled across their laps. How do they steer—the people not the dogs. I have seen and I kid you not, my loyal readers, a woman putting pantyhose on while driving. Yep, pantyhose. This is hard enough to do in your bedroom but while driving? What are you thinking?
And of course the one activity that has just got to receive the "what are you thinking?" award must go to people texting while driving. Honestly this is so freaking scary. Don't engage in texting while driving. I do not want to die because you can't wait to tell your BFF Buffy that Froo Froo has a major crush on some guy named Snake.
So what have you seen other drivers doing?

2 comments:

Author Sandra D. Bricker said...

I recently saw someone driving down a busy interstate at about 60 mph, window open, trying to clean off his windshield wiper. Not that it was raining, mind you. I guess he was just suddenly inspired and didn't have time to pull over or wait until he pulled into his own driveway. But at least the wiper was clean so that it could wipe off the blood when he hit the pedestrian he didn't see, right?

Marti said...

My husband is a professional trumpet player who has been known to practice--yes, practice--his horn while he drives. A few years ago a mass email went out that showed a driver in Phoenix captured by the trafficcam (or whatever they call those things). No one could believe the man was doing what he was, but our family just smiled. We wondered how and when my husband had made it to Arizona.

He doesn't (as far as I know) text while he drives. But play the trumpet? I'd say it's (pun intended as long as you don't tell him) a no-brainer.