Agnes Review

Every so often a review comes along that makes me cry. And this is one of them. Please take a few minutes to read the full text. Kim did an excellent job of speaking about the heart of the book.

Friendship

Here's the thing, I love my friends. Having good and true friends is one of the best things life has to offer. If there is one thing I have learned since I decided to jump on the published author train, it's that a book is not written, produced or marketed without friends. And I happen to have the very best friends and I wanted to thank you all for coming along side and supporting me and helping me, loving me, listening to me when I was cranky, laughing with and yes, sometimes at me, showing me how to do certain things that were just beyond my abilities, trusting me, reading my words, baking lemon squares, filling in for me at work, for being Ethel to my Lucy, or Lucy to my Ethel,Tonto to my Lone Ranger, Robin to my Batman, buying me breakfast when money was tight, offering advice, talkign me off the ledge, commiserating, celebrating and all the other things you've done. I am in awe of you. If I were a rich woman I'd take you all to Disney World but well, maybe next year. In the words of Cole Porter and Lucy and Ethel

"If you're ever in a jam, here I am.
If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.
If you're so happy, you land in jail. I'm your bail.
It's friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship."

When Life Blurs

Here's the thing, I was flipping through the channels after a long day of being uber creative and writing until my fingers went numb. Is it possible to type so much your fingerprints disappear? That's another question. Anyway, like I said, I was flipping through the channels and I landed on a news story about a robbery at a jewelry store. They were showing a surveillance tape of the perp walking into the store, pulling a weapon of some sort, the tape was really grainy and fuzzy so it was hard to tell if he held a gun or a raggedy ann doll. Whatever it was, it must have been scary enough for the store clerk to hand over thousands of dollars in what appeared to be jewels but could have been popcorn. The idiot-robber even looked directly into the camera, but I couldn't tell if he was he or a she. Those thick hoodies make delineating the sexes impossible sometimes. Then he/she took off out the door. The announcer suggested that if any one in television land recognizes the hoodlum to please call local police. My question is this, how the heck can you tell if you know this guy or not? The tape was so terrible I couldn't distinguish the perp's arm from a coat rack. So, why are surveillance tapes so darn grainy and fuzzy. I mean, seriously how can the police expect to find any criminal? Unless of course the bandits really are running through life blurry. Is it possible that criminals are grainy and a pack of Philadelphia bandits are roaming the streets? We have high def TV, Satellite, crystal clear radio, digital video cameras, so why is it not possible to have high definition surveillance tapes? Isn't catching the drunk dude who careened his car into a street of innocent bystanders a little more noteworthy that hearing and seeing Patti LeBell in high definition? It's a valid question. But I suppose the important things in life do tend to get blurred. It's more fun to spend our money and time on the things that entertain than the things that matter. So what's blurred in your existence? God, maybe? If folks looked at you would they see a clear picture? Uhm. I'm so busy that if you were to playback the tapes in my head they'd be pretty grainy and pixilated. I need some definition.

YIkes! Booksignings

Here's the thing. I love to meet people and talk about Agnes and writing and the most marvelous of God's creations--storytelling. We all have them, stories I mean. I'm just fortunate enough to get paid for writing them down--well sort of--if people buy my books. So I am embarking on a series of booksignings that I hope will generate not only a little income but also, a few new fans. I LOVE having fans. It still humbles and amazes me and thrills me all at the same time. So let me say thank you to all of you who have already bought Agnes Sparrow. It's awesome. But for those of you who are still waiting, well now's a good time. I know all of you are not near by, yikes, some of you live in Austrailia and England and Germany, oh my. Now that just blows me away. Germany! England! Austrailia and several other exotic locales. How did you guys find me? Well, anyhoo. If you are in Pennsylvania or Nashville over the next couple of weeks than I invite you to come, hang out, have a lemon square, eat some M&Ms, and I'll sign you're book, and maybe give out some other nifty prizes. Does this sound like begging? It's not. (yes it is) No it's not. I'm just saying, if you are looking for something to do on the following days, then why not come see me. I would love to meet you.

Friday, September 25th I will be at The Exton, PA, Barnes & Noble at 7pm.
Saturday, September 26th, I will be at the Springfield, PA Borders at 2pm.
Saturday, October 3, I will be at the Nashville Books a Million at 6pm.
November 12, 13, 14 Books Alive, Jefferson Texas with the marvelous Kathy Patrick, Queen Mother of the Pulpwood Queens Book Clubs.

Really, come visit even if you don't purchase a book. I really would like to see you.

Peace

Joyce Hears a Who

Here's the thing, I've been busy writing. I usually refer to this time as cave time when I attempt to have as little outside distraction as possible, except for family stuff, and whacking monsnters off and on in a video game for refreshment. I need to simply hunker down and write write write, especially when I am up against a deadline. Deadlines. Even the word is scary. DEAD-line. How grave. Um. So I hereby change the word from deadline to Finish line. Now see, doesn't that feel better already? It's more positive, uplifting and smacks of victory. Of course the meaning is the same, get it done or else. I am no newbie when it comes to Deadlines, er Finish Lines. I used to work in printing and publishing on the production side of things and everyday, it seemed, was a deadline for one project or another, sometimes two or three or more at the same time so I learned to work well under pressure. My new novel, Charlotte Figg Takes Over Paradise is due Oct. 1. (Don't worry, best editor in the world, Charlotte will cross the finish line early)and I hope, provide laughter and tears. Deadlines are important. The world exists because of deadlines. Everything has a due date, arrival and or departure time (okay they can be fuzzy but still), sell by date, shelf life, etc. Okay not doctors, they have their own time. Like it or not we exist on deadline. I got to wondering what would happen if everyone all of a sudden missed their deadline. Now there's a scary thought. The busses would stop running, mail would not be delivered, the presses wouldn't roll, the bread would not get baked, Holy Cow and none of us would get paid. So yes, deadlines are vital to our very existence. So embrace your deadlines, people. Even if it hurts. There are people counting on you whoever you are to meet your deadlines otherwise it will start a chain reaction so powerful nations will crumble because YOU missed the finish line. So what does so this have to do with Horton?
Well, the other day I went to meet Pammy for breakfast and the traffic was humming, horns honked, people scurried about like fleas from a dead cat. I parked the car, got out and I heard the Carillon of the Episcopal church in the background playing Holy, Holy, Holy. Kind of near, but kind of far. I paused a moment and thought how sweet, how telling that in the midst of all this rushing about to get somewhere on time, to meet the deadline, it was like God was saying, "I'm here. Don't forget me. I see you in all your urgency but I'm what's really important." So please, don't forget God as you move through your day, take time to visit with Him, he likes that. And I suspect meeting that deadline, crossing the finish line will get a trifle bit easier if you dare to take time. And oh, I would have stayed and listened to the pretty music longer but I was meeting Pammy and I didn't want to be late. Who knows what chain reaction would have started.
Peace!

World's Largest Booksiging. And I'm in it!

On Saturday Sept. 19 from 4:00 to 5:30 p.m. over 100 Christian novelists will gather for a public booksigning. The event will take place at the Denver Marriott Tech Center, 4900 S. Syracuse Street.

Books of participating authors will be available to buy through the ACFW conference bookstore in the hotel.
Here is an alphatical list of authors in attendance:

Carolyne Aarsen
Diane Ashley
Ruth Axtell Morren
Karen Ball
Rick Barry
Christina Berry
Lauralee Bliss
Diana Brandmeyer
Sandra Bricker
Margaret Brownley
Candace Calvert
Robin Caroll
Jeanie Smith Cash
Colleen Coble
Brandilyn Collins
Mary Connealy
Shirley Connolly
Margaret Daley
Susan Page Davis
Mary Davis
Janet Dean
Megan DiMaria
Lena Nelson Dooley
Wanda Dyson
Leanna Ellis
Pamela Ewen
Miralee Ferrell
Linda Ford
Tina Ann Forkner
Darlene Franklin
Judy Gann
Jeff Gerke
Rhonda Gibson
Debby Giusti
Sandra Glahn
Elizabeth Goddard
Winnie Griggs
Rene Gutteridge
Cathy Marie Hake
Lisa Harris
Mary Hawkins
Roxanne Henke
Cynthia Hickey
Patti Hill
Denise Hunter
Annette Irby
Myra Johnson
Liz Johnson
Jenny Jones
Eileen Key
LAURIE Kingery
Kathleen Kovach
Harry Kraus
Jeanne Marie Leach
Tosca Lee
Julie Lessman
Loree Lough
Elizabeth Ludwig
Richard Mabry
Debbie Macomber
Joyce Magnin
Gail Gaymer Martin
Judy/Jude Martin-Urban/Urbanski
Debby Mayne
Aaron McCarver
Vickie McDonough
Dana Mentink
Robin Miller writing as Robin Caroll
DiAnn Mills
Stephanie Morrill
Janelle Mowery
Jill Elizabeth Nelson
Kevin Parsons
Golden Keyes Parsons
Donita K. Paul
Tracie Peterson
Allie Pleiter
Cara Putman
Tara Randel
Deborah Raney
Sandra Robbins
Kim Sawyer
Marc Schooley
Michael Sheehan
Shelley Shepard Gray
Ann Shorey
Beth Shriver
Sandra Lee Smith
Virginia Smith
Betsy St. Amant
Therese Stenzel
Stuart Stockton
Alison Strobel
Michelle Sutton
Camy Tang
Donn Taylor
Janice (Hanna) Thompson
Missy Tippens
Pamela Tracy
Carrie Turansky
Deborah Vogts
Jenness Walker
Dan Walsh
Susan May Warren
Michael Webb
Kit Wilkinson
Lisa Wingate
Beth Wiseman
Kimberley Woodhouse
Lenora Worth
Cheryl Wyatt
Kathleen Y'Barbo

It is Just So Exciting!

The Prayers of Agnes Sparrow was recently sighted on the front tables at a Nashville Area Barnes & Noble. I'm so proud to soo my baby out thre, mixing it up in the real world. And look at the compnay she's keeping. Not too shabby. Keep those pictures coming. If you see Agnes on a table, snap a shot. It would be an extra bonus if you were in the pic. and send it to me. I will pick a winner to recieve a grab bag of goodies. Really. I will.Soon. Not sure when. But soon.

The Fear of the Kybash

Here's the thing. I love my mother, but some things are just too weird to forget. To say Flossie was an unconventional mother is like saying, The Grand Canyon is just a hole. I have a list of "my mother never dids about a mile long." For instance, my mother never did teach me the proper way to cook potatoes, wash dishes, comb my hair, wash my feet or well, pretty much do anything when it came to just your average life. But still, my mother, for all her unusualness was one of the funniest most talented women I have ever experienced and taught me many more important things like the proper way to feed a homeless, injured baby bird or grow a peach tree from a peach pit, or graft an African Violet leaf or mix yellow and blue to make green. She was not only funny but wise in a very peculiar way. So, starting today I thought it would be fun to share some of this insight from Flossie starting with some her most memorable phrases, the most popular being, "Beats a poke in the eye." This was pretty much what she would say whenever ANYTHING happened, good or bad. "Mom, I made honor roll." She'd smile and say, "Beats a poke in the eye." Mom, I broke both my arms." "Beats a poke in the eye." You get the idea. "Mom, I just had my first book published." "Beats a poke in the eye." And there you have it.
Another favorite, albeit frustrating Flossieism is this. It's a wisdom that works equally as well for broken pinky toes and broken hearts: "Keep it 'til it gets better." No matter how horrible the sickness, how broken the bone, or deep the gash in my knee, her response was always the same. "Guess you'll just have to keep it til it gets better." Um, now that's wise. And it is quite true. It works in any situation.
Other memorable phrases include, "You'll get the Collywobbles." I was never quite sure what the Collywobbles were exactly but I lived in mortal fear of getting them from eating a raw potato, a green banana, uncooked cookie dough etc. The only thing I was certain of was that true collywobbles had something to do with the digestive track and I did not want them.
"Well thump my gums." There's an oldie but a goodie. I never quite understood this. How exactly does one go about thumping their gums or anyone else's gums for that matter? It sounds extremely painful.
"Five times." Now this phrase did little more than confuse me. I know it had something to do with her inability to believe something or other. For example. "But Mom, everyone is wearing them." To which she would reply. "Yeah, five times." And she would walk away. Case closed.
Another thing I lived in fear of was The Kybash. "You better watch it or the Kybash will come down on you." Man o man that's pretty scary. I used to lie in bed at night thinking about the Kybash and what it would do if it ever came down. Was it a big green, hairy monster? Or was it more like a boulder or a meat cleaver. This I never knew.
But they say what goes around comes around and I was at the nursing home visiting her the other day. The conversation went like this.
"Joycie, my foot hurts."
"Guess you'll just have to keep it til it gets better, Mom."
"I'm hungry."
"Then eat your lunch."
"But I want a banana."
"You'll get the collywobbles."
Five minutes later the nurse comes in. "Florence. You didn't eat your lunch."
"Well, thump my gums. You don’t expect me to eat that."
"Mom, don’t talk to her like that. It's not her fault."
"You better watch out Joyce Anne or I'll bring the Kybash down on you."
Some things just never change.

The Eye of the Spud

Here's the thing, I blogged about apples and how many flipping varieties of apples exist on planet earth. So I checked. There are over 7500 known varieties of apples worldwide. "KNOWN" mind you. Does this mean there are renegage apples out there waiting to be discovered? Are apples cross breeding without the Dept.of Agriculture's knowledge? This could be scary folks if the apples ever manage to take over. All those eyes staring at you. I'm not so much worried about aliens as I am apples taking over the world. Would that mean we'd call out the Marine Core? Sheesh. Again I ask the question. Do we NEED this many apples? Wouldn't the money spent to produce the less popular varieties be better used to, oh, I don't know, feed the starving. But that's another rant. Anyhoo, my friend Sue from Zondervan commented about potato varieties. Here's a kicker, Sue. I did some research and did you know there are currently 575 "KNOWN" varieties of potatoes? You can read an alphabetical list here. Again I have to ask the question. WHY? I'm just wondering. Now I love potatoes. Always did. My mother will tell you that I would eat a bowl of mashed potatoes cold for a late night snack even though she told me if I ate too much I'd get the collywobbles. I have never seen nor eaten anything other than your basic brown potato, occassionally yellow and of course red. But for heavens sake where are these 575 varieties and why doesn't the consumer have access to say the King Edward VII potato? It's true. That's an actual variety. Along with the Pamela, the Ostara, and the Santana, etc. Potatoes can be brown, pink, red, yellow, blue or purple. I for one am not too keen on seeing a plopper of mashed purple potatoes next to my Sunday roast but hey, why not. Purple potatoes make me laugh. But, I don't know, do you put brown gravy on purple potatoes? Um. Not too aPEELing.
575 different potatoes in the world. This is amazing. I think the next time I'm at the grocery store I'll ask the manger if he can get The King Edward potato. I want to try it. Life is way too short to only eat a few types of potatoes, don't you think? Besides I want to see the look on my son's face when I put a plate of purple french fries in front of him, or purple mashed, or purple baked or purple chips or purple au gratin or scalloped purple or . . . gees there must be a million ways to serve potaotes. um. I just want what's out there. We live in a country where pretty much everything is availble to us except The King Edward VII potato. This is not right.

Just How Many Apples Do We Need?

I read an article this morning about Apples. It never occurred to me until now that there are people who spend their working hours developing new varieties of apples. My question is why? Just how many varieties of apples do we need? This new apple is called the SweeTango. I reckon it has something to do with it's sweet and tart flavor yet it apparently maintains the crispness of the Honeycrisp which is wildly popular. Who knew? The SweeTango was made by crossing the Honeycrisp with the Zestar! The exclamation point was there, whether that's the apple's name or they're just really excited about it, I don't know. But in any case this new Apple is supposed to be a hit, especially with school age children, they're hoping, because apparently our kids are not happy with the apples now being served in school cafeterias. Ahhhhh. And, the growers are thrilled because with the SweeTangos really swell taste--sweet and tart, they can charge more money for it. Um. The bad news is that the apple will not be available nationwide for a couple of years yet. So I'm sorry, but we'll just have to wait and see if it stands up to the hype. I know I'm excited. I mean really, how often do new apple varieties come along? More often than we know, I think. I wonder if it will be good in pie or make good sauce.
Funny, just the other day I was in the grocery store standing in front of the apple displays, staring at oh, I don't know, a hundred different varieties of apples! and I turned to my son and said, "You know, we need another apple variety. These are boring." He agreed. "Yeah, Mom. The apples at school suck." No, really.
According to the article:"We're fighting for that share of stomach," Byrne said, "and we firmly believe that we have to be able to provide a great eating experience so that when a kid is given a choice between a really good apple and something else snacky, that the apple will be the one they choose."
Right, put an apple up agaisnt a Twinkie or a Snickers and the kid will go for the apple every time. Ha!

You can read about the Sweet Tango here.
or if you want you can catch a video alla bout the birth of the SweeeTango here.

The Real New Year

I suppose I should have posted this yesterday but I got so excited about the Library Journal review I didn't. Anyhoo, September 1 is for me anyway, the real New Year. It's weird but January 1 seems like the middle of the year for me. I like September 1because everything starts anew and fresh, new school year, new/and put-away fall clothes--digging out the sweat shirts and jeans, the smell of wood smoke in the air, going to Linvlla Orchards for apples and pumpkins, buying back to school clothes for the kiddies, not to mention the school supplies. Oh, how I love school supplies. It seems like businesses are starting up,the sunday school kick off is about to happen and we all get to go to new sunday school classes, the women's ministry bible study begins. I mean really, September is the real New Year. Even the air begins to feel new as the humidity drops. I don't feel like I'm stepping into a terraium everytime I leave my house. I can open windows for fresh air, turn off the AC. I feel like cooking again. I like soup. My chocolate chip cookies bake better in the fall. And of course, not to mention, baseball season winds down to the World Series, and football begins. It just doesn't get better than church Sunday morning, Football sunday afternoon.
So I'm thinking that maybe this is the better time to make new year resolutions. Who wants to resolve to do anyhting in the dead of winter. But now, with all this freshness going on, now is the perfect time to make changes. Here is my Autumn Resolution. Less TV. Yikes there I said it. I am really going to try and stop watching so much TV at night, especially the news. All it does is depress me and make me anxious. Frankly, if a bomb is headed my way, I don't want to know. Just drop it and let me die. And secondly, and this is big also, I'm thinking about doing away with my Blackberry or as I call it my Crackberry. Gasp! Do I really need to check email every twenty nano seconds? I did say, thinking about it. We'll see. But the TV thing? Ok, okay, I will watch certain shows. I love The Big Bang Theory. And yes I will watch American Idol (sorry). But no news is good news in my opinion. Books are better. I am going to take an Autumn book challenge and read the tower of books I have in a holding pattern right now. Hey, maybe we can read together. Leave a comment about your own autmnal challenge and we'll support each other. I truly want to read Anna Karennina all the way through, maybe Moby Dick, and more poetry. Among others. So let's turn off the TVs this Fall and pick up a book.
Oh, and I want to start doing more needle work. Fall always makes me want to pick up a needle. Too warm in the summer. So who's with me. Down with January resolutions. Up with Fall--is that an oxymoron.

Wowie Zowie

I am thrilled to tell you all that The Prayers of Agnes Sparrow has received a starred review from Library Journal. With a picture and all. I am so excited.
You can check it out here. If you want.