Random Stuff for Friday

Did you ever wonder why people never take the first slice of bread out of the loaf? Is the fourth or fifth slice really that much fresher?

What is up with the employee of the month parking spot? Is it really that big a perk? I mean just how far away are the other employee parking spaces that this is a big deal? "I love my job. I'm making eight stinking bucks an hour stocking shelves but hey, I get to park fifty yards away from the front door if I do my job really well." Sheesh.

Overheard at the Manoa Deli. "Well, at our age it is a must to join a senior citizens group. A must. We have to join a group." I found it amusing. Something to look forward too.

Did you ever notice how quickly we switch from being a driver to a pedestrian? It cracks me up. One minute we're behind the wheel, impatiently waiting for a young mother with seventeen children in various stages of a tantrum to make her way across the parking lot and then three minutes later we are the pedestrian hollering at a driver for nearly knocking us down. Something is wrong with this.

Why do people talk about getting ON an airplane? I don’t know about you but I am getting IN the airplane. Sitting on the wing seems dangerous to me.

Do Native American Rain Dancers ever practice?

Why do they call it a microphone? If it's suppsoed to make your voice bigger shouldn't it be called a macrophone?

I worry about phone numbers that spell things like call ! 800 Get Rich or 1 800 GLASSES. I worry for illiterate people. How will they ever get rich or find glasses. This is not fair.

Speaking of parking spaces have you noticed these special spaces for expectant and new mothers? Listen, these young mothers NEED to drag their kids or their pregnant girth across seven acres of parking lot in pouring rain. It's good for them. Sheesh. What we need are parking spaces for middle-aged women going through perimenopause. That way we won't have as much trouble remembering where we parked our cars.

Have a good weekend


Shelley Lee said...

I enjoyed this Joyce. Nice to head into the weekend with a laugh!

Terri L. Gillespie said...

You are hysterical! Just the right crazy mixed with brilliance. My kind of woman.

Pam Halter said...

I never, ever take the first slice of bread from the loaf. Hmmmmm ... but I plan to join a senior's group when I'm old and decreped.

Phoebe said...

Rain dancers, ha! I loved that one :)

Barbara Scott said...

The last paragraph hit home for me. Let those pregnant women walk two miles in the snow uphill. I'm all for giving out special stickers for perimenopausal women who could go postal in Wal-Mart if they get too hot.


Rita Gerlach said...

Great post, Joyce. Gave me a chuckle. What I want to know is why I always see one shoe in the road...never a pair.

Pam Halter said...

Rita! You are SO right! And what's up with the sneakers dangling from the electric wires?